Not Just In Name
by odiedragon
Summary: The Wardens from Orlais have arrived in Denerim, and are heading to Amaranthine. Will Elissa accompany them on their mission, or is staying at court with her husband-to-be where her duty lies?


A/N: In honor of DA:O-A being announced, a quick one-shot taking place right before the Orlesian Grey Wardens leave for Amaranthine. Obviously I have no idea how the events will play out yet if you ended the game engaged to Alistair, but since I could see it going either way given that we know that they marry six months post-end-game.

* * *

"I must say love, you really do have that shrug-and-look-stupid act down pact."

"Oh? You really think so?"

"Yes. And if you ever try that routine on me you're going to find yourself in a world of hurt. Got that?" To accentuate her point, Elissa jabbed her betrothed in the ribs.

"Ow!" She jabbed him again, and several more times for good measure. "Alright, alright! No stupid-looking except when people are asking us pointed questions about archdemons and malificarim and demon babies. Fair enough?"

"Fair enough," she agreed, snuggling back into the crook of his arm. She ran her forefinger in lazy circles around Alistair's torso.

"Not that I'd give up our nights together on the road for anything in the world, but Maker's Breath this part is _so_ much more comfortable in a proper bed," Alistair mused.

"Just this part?" Elissa laughed softly. "Next time, I'm so going to take you on this hard stone floor, but not before having some rocks brought in and scattered about just to complete the effect. Then you'll appreciate a real bed on a whole different level!"

"Point taken. Though don't you make it sound like that has never-ever happened to me before either. We both know better." With that he kissed her on the forehead, as he moved the arm wrapped around her down her side and squeezed her rounded cheek.

Elissa sighed, relishing the dark calm of the royal bedchamber. A faint wind rustled the curtains which were pulled in front of their balcony doors, the brief somber glow of moonlight lighting the room faintly. "Alistair… do you think we made the right decision?"

"To lie to the rest of the Grey Wardens? Considering they probably would have drawn and quartered us on the spot if they knew the truth, yes. If I wasn't fond of the idea of you being whole and healthy I would have told that witch to go jump off a cliff."

"No, no, I mean about… that. Morrigan's ritual. Did we do the right thing?" She let the question hang there a few moments before continuing. "An Old God isn't necessarily a Bad God, yes? If it's not an archdemon, it shouldn't affect the Darkspawn… right?"

"Funny," Alistair replied, the playfulness gone from his tone. "I seem to remember being told that I should trust you about that choice."

Elissa raised her head and looked up at him, eyes narrowed. "I was _scared_, Alistair. Scared I might lose you. And don't tell me you weren't just as scared."

"At that point, no, I wasn't. I naively believed Riordan when he said he'd take the final blow."

"Please. Don't try and tell me that you didn't believe he could fall long before we got to the archdemon. Besides, what would have been the bloody _point _of us dying, after having gone through such lengths to put you on the throne?"

"The point would have been that I could have taken the final blow, were it to have come down to that, and saved us _all_, not just our own skins."

Raising herself onto her elbow, she sat up and looked him in the eye. "That's insane and you know it!" Her words became heated. "Give the crown back to Anora and extinguish Calenhad's legacy all in one blow? If I'd known you were planning that I would have locked _you_ in a tower as well!"

"Or, all in one blow, I could have saved Ferelden and the woman I love more than life itself. It would have been the sanest thing I'd ever have done." He reached over and ran his fingers through her long, unbound hair. "But it hardly matters now. What's done is done, and now we have to live with probably the most _in_sane thing I've ever done." He sighed and pulled Elissa close. "At least I'll still have you here beside me, to deal with whatever fallout comes from all this."

She hummed her agreement. "That you will. Though, kind of along those lines… I have something I want to talk to you about."

Alistair loosened his grip on her, looking concerned. "Please don't tell me that after all this you're suddenly getting cold feet."

"No. Don't even joke about that, love."

"Then what's troubling you?"

Rolling over onto her back, Elissa suddenly developed an intense interest in the draperies hanging between the four posters of the bed. "I… I mean, if you think it's at all possible… I would really like to go with the Orlesians to Amaranthine."

Silence. Alistair turned to look at her, still lying next to her but now on his side and propped up by his arm. "Elissa… love, are you certain? There is so much to be done here at court… and you know that I won't be able to accompany you, were you to go."

He wasn't sure which hurt more, the fact that she wanted to leave or the fact that she _could_ leave when he could not. He was the newly crowned King of Ferelden, but until they were formally wed she was still just Elissa the Grey Warden. Teryn's daughter or no, she had freedoms that were denied to him now.

"I know. Believe me, I know. And that's honestly part of why I want to accompany them." She sighed and closed her eyes, gathering her words. "Once we're wed and I'm your queen in truth instead of just in our hearts, things will be different. They're already different for you."

Alistair chuckled wryly. "Don't I know it. I'm rather surprised no one stopped me from running up those stairs into Fort Draken."

"This may be my last chance to truly be a Grey Warden, in deed and not just in name. I don't want to pass that up." She swallowed as her voice gave out slightly. "I hate that it means being apart from you. But I can't deny that my other desires exist. I want to be there, to establish the groundwork for the future of our order in Ferelden. Especially… especially if there is some horrible repercussions that come from letting Morrigan perform her ritual. We need to be prepared. We need the Wardens to be in a position of strength, even if we can't tell them why."

Alistair fell back on the mountain of pillows at the head of their bed. "Blast it all… when you put it that way, I'd look like a complete arse were I to try and stop you."

"If you don't think it's a good idea, I'll stay here with you. From what the Orlesian Wardens said, it sounds like it may be more than a few rag-tag bands of Darkspawn we'll be dealing with. I would be surprised if I spent the entire time holed up in meetings, attending Joining ceremonies, and training new recruits."

"Andraste's knickers, I _know_ you can handle yourself in a fight," Alistair said. "I'm not going to ask you to stay just because I'm afraid you'll get hurt. I mean, of course I _am_ afraid you'll get hurt none the less… but that's just the nature of being woefully in love with a warrior woman."

"So, you're alright with me going with them?"

"Elissa, you know I can't truly deny you anything."

"You said earlier that you'd deny me taking the killing blow against the archdemon."

"Okay, okay, I can't deny you anything that doesn't involve your certain death. Happy now?"

Elissa giggled. "I suppose I can't hold What-Ifs and Maybe-Sos against you."

"But, um… what about the wedding?" Alistair protested, knowing his argument was a feeble one. "Don't women relish the idea of hashing out all the insane details of such things? If you're out there decapitating Darkspawn and saving the world again without me, won't you miss out on all that?"

Elissa leveled one of her more steely glares at him. "Pray tell, do you _honestly_ think the _only_ reason I want to be away from court right now is the chance for more glory and adventure? If I have to do things like pick out floral arrangements and decide who's bum sits at which table lest some other ass be offended, I think I'd rather fall on my own sword."

Alistair laughed as he pulled her back into his arms. "It's a good thing you're going to be Queen of Ferelden and not somewhere like Orlais or Antiva. The Queen of Antiva, not caring about every minute detail of her own wedding? Preposterous."

"It's a good thing you're King of Ferelden then, otherwise I doubt I'd consent to be your queen in the first place."

"Consent?!" Alistair said laughing. "Consent would imply that someone _asked_ you, rather than you springing the idea upon the Landsmeet without discussing it first with certain intimately affected parties!"

"Are _you_ getting cold feet now?"

"Perish the thought, my lady." He kissed her, long and lovingly, before continuing. "Still, I'm afraid that the castle staff will become paralyzed with fear without having you here to give your blessing to everything. They'll have a hard time understanding that you just don't care all that much."

"I'll see if I can convince Leliana to stay here at court and handle things for me. She talked of leaving, but I can't imagine her not returning for the wedding. Maybe she can be convinced to not head out and restart her adventuring so quickly."

"I'll just appoint her as our Royal Wedding Coordinator. Then she _has_ to stay in Denerim, right?"

"I'd rather you didn't… I don't want to start losing friends because King Alistair the Royal Bastard suddenly grew too big for his fancy britches."

"I'm joking, dear… mostly." He kissed her again. "You're not leaving just yet, right? I doubt the Orlesians will be heading out in the dark of night."

"Of course not. Why? Does milord have something else he wishes to discuss?" Elissa said with a false air of seriousness.

"Discussion wasn't quite what I was hoping for, my love," Alistair said, his voice turning husky and his eyes full of desire. "My thoughts were more along the lines of making the most of the nights we have left before you leave."

"As you say, Your Majesty."

"Stop that."

"Try and make me."

"Your wish is my command…."


End file.
